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It's been almost two months since I last wrote and the muse has finally returned. The first month was spent with my family on leave and closing the door on my military career. The second has been spent getting my feet back on the ground here in Afghanistan.

Leave was simultaneously a huge morale booster, a profound disappointment, and a huge emotional sense of relief.

Spending time with my family was wonderful in every way. Prolonged separation gives one a sense of perspective on what is normally taken for granted. I found that things that annoyed me prior to starting this job no longer did so or did to a much lesser degree. All in all I loved every minute of it - I can only hope that when my boys are older, they will look back on my visits and smile at the good memories. I know that I will.

The profound disappointment came with the end of my military career. After 22 years as a commissioned officer, I requested to be retired from the Army National Guard, effective 30 June 2009. The leadership of the Idaho Guard was no longer willing to make the required accommodations for my work here in Afghanistan. My disappointment was really for how shallow and short-sighted the IDNG has become a an institution since 2005. There is no strategic vision there beyond preserving the status quo. Any advancements made are "on the margin" - or other people's ideas that are basically "low hanging fruit". That lack of energy, lack of a mark on the wall that defines what the Idaho National Guard could be in the future also explains the huge sense of relief I felt when I handed the Adjutant General the signed request to retire. It felt like a thousand pounds had been lifted off of my back. The negative energy at Gowen Field is palpable - the exact opposite of what I wrote about feeling in Washington DC on Inauguration Day. I hope that changes soon, for the sake of the still-decent people that work there.

All in all, I'm glad to be back in Afghanistan, but disappointed in some of the short-sighted decisions that are being made here - hmmm, I'm seeing a trend here... impatience with lack of strategic vision... that's one of the services I provide through my company - Astrolabe LLC. Strategic Vision - redefining where a company can be, based on its strengths and an honest appraisal of where it is at today. Unfortunately, here in Afghanistan as a contractor, I get exactly no vote, whatsoever. All I can do is point out the relative costs and benefits, as I see them, to the military chain of command then abide by whatever decision is made, short sighted or not. C'est la vie, c'est la guerre. KAFka Castle, watch out, I may be moving your way!